25 Reasons Camping After Binge-Watching The Walking Dead is a Bad Idea

The excitement of scary movies and television shows is part of fall’s allure. But if you have an overactive imagination, the fear doesn’t stop once the TV’s turned off. And depending on what you’re watching, the fear can be intensified when paired with an overnight trip in the great outdoors.

To prepare for season 8 of The Walking Dead, I’ve been catching up on old episodes through the magic of Netflix.

One thing I’ve realized? Camping and zombies don’t mix. If you plan to watch a buttload of The Walking Dead and then head out for some tent time, be prepared for the consequences.

The Walking Dead Tent Ed
In season 1, episode 4 of AMC’s The Walking Dead, we learn this was the cause of a mysterious noise outside the tent.

25 Signs The Walking Dead Has Ruined Camping

  1. You try to convince your friends that day camping is cool. No need to actually sleep outside, right??
  2. You set up a can perimeter around camp. Everyone knows that walkers are silent until they are about to sink their rotting teeth into your flesh.
  3. You insist on implementing a bathroom buddy system. Wandering off into the woods alone would be ludicrous.
  4. Pocket knives are useless. You now wield a walker-slicing sword.
  5. Campfire?! Um, no. The only way you’re allowing this is if it’s used as a decoy at least 500 yards from your camp.
  6. You shush your friends at the sound of every snapping twig. Might be a walker… On second thought you should just implement a no talking policy.
  7. You randomly should “Coral!” throughout the day and wish you had a friend named Carl so it made sense.
  8. Your hiking boots are quadruple knotted. Although walkers seem slow, if you trip a hoard will come out of nowhere and eat you.
  9. Forget marshmallow roasting sticks, you’re on the lookout for something you could easily drive through the skull of a walker.
  10. You insist on wearing plenty of thick layers all day to fend off possible bites.
  11. When mistakes are made, you insist on talking through them using “on me” statements. “This, well this is on me,” “that, well that’s on you,” or a combination of the two will suffice.
  12. Why would you bother to pack food? Your plan is to raid the pantries of nearby abandoned homes.
  13. You poll your crew and nearby campers on what they prefer to call the living dead — walkers, zombies, biters, undead — you need consistency!
  14. You share a special moment with the friend you choose to finish the job if you become a walker.
  15. Even if you’re car camping, you won’t let your friends stay in one spot for too long. The key to survival is constant movement.
  16. You plan backpacking routes that lead to government organizations. Someone has to be working to fix this thing…
  17. If you must stay in one spot you insist on parking your cars along the camp’s perimeter and impaling them with spears. These porcupine vehicles are the perfect walker traps.
  18. You laugh at your friends when they set up their “ground tents.” You recently dished out $500 for a tent that can be hung high in the trees.
  19. When night falls, you choose two friends to take the first watch and schedule shifts for the rest of the group accordingly.
  20. You assume every noise outside your tent is a walker. You’d be relieved to see a bear.
  21. If you ever do see a walker, your plan is to kill it and convince your friends to cover their tents with its remains… just to be safe.
  22. You thank your lucky stars that you’re dealing with walkers and not white walkers. The last thing you need to worry about is potential zombie wildlife. Plus, you have no idea where to buy dragon glass.
  23. After a while, you realize that people are the true evil and wonder who in your group you can actually trust.
  24. You try to convince your friends to start a gang of hooligans and attack nearby campers. It’s a kill or be-killed world.
  25. The more you think about it, walkers aren’t really that scary. You adjust all plans to prepare for murderous humans.

 

 

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